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| TNA vs FSM |
FSM staff |
We challenged TNA to send three of its best wrestlers to meet us in the ring. The digital ring, that is. It’s a best-of-three series as FSM takes on AJ Styles, Samoa Joe and Petey Williams at the TNA Impact! videogame ahead of its release next month!
There’s no doubt that TNA’s roster is formidable. Showing depth in every area from the top of the card to the bottom, they have cemented their place on the pro wrestling stage and are on the verge of taking that next big step. However, when it comes to videogames, we wanted to see if the guys’ game-playing ability was ready to make that same leap.
With that in mind, we hooked up with Petey Williams, AJ Styles and Samoa Joe for a friendly series of TNA Impact! challenge matches. It was Xbox 360 pads at dawn to see if we had enough skill to take down TNA’s elite…
ROUND 1:
FSM VS PETEY WILLIAMS
ULTIMATE X MATCH
The X Division Champ seemed to be ready for a fight the moment we sat down next to him. Proudly taunting us with his championship belt, Petey made it clear that he wasn’t going to lie down. Deciding that it made sense to beat him at his own game, we chose Ultimate X as our match of choice and our homeboy Christopher Daniels as our challenger (since we’ve missed seeing him on TV). Unfortunately, Little Petey Pump wasn’t in the version of the game we played, so he plumped for Homicide.
It was all smiles at the beginning, but things soon got a little rougher…
As the two combatants made their way to the ring, it was hard not to appreciate how impressive Midway’s first wrestling game in 13 years really is. Visually it shines, thanks to the Unreal 3 Engine, and at certain angles the wrestlers look shockingly like their real-life counterparts. Still, this wasn’t going to stop us from taking it right to the master of the Canadian Destroyer…
After our initial lock-up it’s clear that Petey has played the game a lot more than we have. The attempted tie-up sees The Maple Leaf Muscle duck out of the way and hit a clothesline from behind before we could even get our bearings. Trying to avoid further punishment, we desperately tried to roll out the way. Again, Petey had clearly seen all this before; dropping an elbow onto our prone carcass, he grabbed us by the hair and hurled us into the turnbuckle.
Frantically trying to reverse the situation, we fell into that terrible trap of mashing buttons. Unlike the competition, TNA Impact! doesn’t reward those who try the easy way out and Petey continued the assault with a top rope superplex. And now we’re in a serious state of trouble, as Little Pump starts to climb the ropes heading towards the X.
Thankfully, the method to get the prize – a well-timed button press – is far trickier than it first appears, and the FSM-controlled Chris Daniels gets back to his feet to pull ‘Cide smashing down to the ground. As both of our characters are lifeless, Petey uses the opportunity to hold up his actual X Division Championship in front of us. I guess regardless what happens he’ll always be able to play that card!
This didn't end well for us - or our digital Chris Daniels.
Both back to our feet, we trade blows back and forth with Petey, again, coming out on top. Despite the whupping, we’re struck again at the potential that Impact! has – moments such as these really do have the feel and pace of a TNA wrestling match. However, we soon pay for contemplating such things in the middle of a fight; after a quick powerslam followed by a back suplex, Petey gets a wry grin on his face. In all the commotion, we’ve failed to notice that his ‘Impact! bar’ is now full.
He signals for The Gringo Killer, hits it and we’re out for the count. Williams quickly scales the ropes, climbs towards the X… and bugger, he grabs it. FSM has lost the first contest! We quickly offer a sportsmanlike handshake – after all, Petey kicked our ass – and although he accepts, he makes sure to follow it up by once again holding the gold in our face. After informing us that, “I’m unbeatable at videogames,” and issuing an open challenge on Rock Band, we move on to face The Phenomenal One…
SCORE: FSM 0 – TNA 1
ROUND 2:
FSM VS AJ STYLES
Mercifully, this match-up was a straight up rasslin’ match, meaning that we couldn’t lose due to our X Division inexperience or gimmick match jiggery pokery. As ever Styles is a gentleman, remarking how fond he is of FSM and reminiscing about Bound For Glory last year, when Black Machismo punched out our fair editor, prompting us to pick Machismo as our character. Talking about our issue 29 interview we laugh about the business… and then the bell sounds and he completely changes.
Without even a hint of warning he literally grabs us in a headlock, giving him the opportunity to pound away on our on-screen character while we struggle to break free! With two hands still on the control pad we try to fight back, but it’s extremely difficult with a bicep in our ear and a vice-like grip crushing our head. “Old man strength” indeed… AJ finally relents and the contest is on, though we’re definitely playing the face-in-peril role.
AJ channels Eddie Guerrero and CHEATS TO WIN~!
Trying to turn the tide back in our favour, we catch Styles with some stiff shots and fire him into the ropes. Sadly, since he was the one who did the motion capture for this sequence, AJ knows exactly when to counter and comes rocketing back with a giant clothesline before we can nail him. He seamlessly climbs the ropes and nails a picture-perfect moonsault – we don’t know if “direct involvement with the development process” is against the rules, but it’s certainly in the dirty heel playbook.
With Mr Nice Guy firmly replaced by Mr Hyde, AJ doesn’t let up and moves in for the kill, locking on a rear named choke. Almost a mini-game, Impact!’s submission system is pretty intelligent; although it’s certainly not new, having to quickly press the correct sequence before your foe adds a real intensity to proceedings and makes it feel like you could actually tap at any second. Luckily our rhythm-action skills are pretty sharp, and we reverse out of the chokehold into a snap suplex.
Like a true heel AJ bails out of the ring. With momentum on our side and a new sense of confidence, we follow him out with the intention of using the ringside area to our advantage and ram the bugger’s face into the steps. Sadly he got wise to us trying to lure him towards them, so we had to settle for a stiff DDT on the outside, which is enough to make sure he’s reeling.
Back in the ring, we realise that we’re starting to find our feet with the game. The bang-bang approach wasn’t working for us but the slow, methodical tactics were seeing us start to pick him apart. Focusing on AJ’s back, we drop him with a backbreaker followed by some swift kicks to the ribs. With the body damage icon in the corner indicating that Styles’ midsection is in danger, there’s only one thing left to do…
For the rest of this feature, check out issue 31 of FSM – available at WH Smith and all good retailers. (For US readers we are now carried at Borders and Barnes & Noble, so check for local availability or click here to subscribe.)
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