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| WHY WHY WHY? |
James Denton |
This is, without question, the most difficult thing I have ever had to write. Only days detached from a truly horrific tragedy, without the safety net of having all the facts (which it is unlikely we will ever have) and knowing full well that any attempt to establish why Chris Benoit did what he did may well be interpreted by others as an attempt to justify what he did.
Let me make clear, from the offset, that there is no Earthly justification for what took place over the weekend of 25 June 2007. What happened was obscene and vile and appalling, and no possible explanation exists that will ever make it acceptable. However, I think it is very, very important to detach our emotions, just for a moment; to take a step back and think not in terms of anger and hatred and burning in effigy a man who committed the most heinous of crimes, but to ask ourselves, sincerely and objectively, why this happened.
The general reaction – from the media to the wrestling community to his friends and family – is that Chris Benoit was a cold hearted, cold blooded murderer, plain and simple. There can be no room for discussion, no possible credence given to even the faintest notion that there may have been more complex issues at play. I can understand this sentiment, because it is far easier both morally and mentally to slap a nice, simple, straightforward label of “killer” onto this man than it is to make any attempt to truly understand him.
Further, it is much safer for our psychological well being to believe that he was simply a monster. Because, if we try to apply logic or establish legitimate cause and effect to what took place, then it’s almost to accept that, hey, if you or I were in the same situation, maybe things would have happened exactly the same way. Obviously, that’s a thought that cuts far too close to the bone for many people.
For whatever people would or wouldn’t say about the integrity of a “wrestling journalist”, I think it is vital – absolutely vital – not to jump the gun and immediately conclude that this the was simply a reprehensible, immoral, unredeemable individual (which may, ultimately, be the case) but to try to empathise with Chris Benoit. I think this has to be done not to forgive him, not to let him off the hook and not to somehow reach the unreachable conclusion that, “Oh, well in that case it was all okay, then”; no, this has to be done in order that we should understand exactly what transformed a loving father into a child killer, so that we can prevent it from ever happening again.
DOES AN ACT OF VILLAINY MAKE ONE A VILLAIN?
To claim, as so many have, that Chris Benoit was no different from a Fred West or a Moira Hindley is to do both Benoit and ourselves a grave injustice. Yes, his crimes were as heinous, but that does not mean that his motives necessarily were.
In discussing this case, there is a story that I’ve been telling people. For a time, I worked in a mental health department dealing with people suffering a broad range of problems, from depression to psychosis to dementia. In examining the patients, many had issues that saw them became almost completely disjointed from reality or, perhaps even worse, saw them fully cognisant of the world around them, yet their psychological mechanism for dealing with the world in a rational state had simply ceased to function.
One day, I received a telephone call from somebody who was deeply unhinged. I was not familiar with her case, but it was later explained to me that she was a drug user and had some months before lost a relative to drug-related causes. She was having a very difficult time and wanted to speak to a counsellor, right then and there. I explained that, at that moment, there was no one available to talk. So while she was on the phone, she calmly and politely told me that she had a packet of razorblades and she was going to swallow them. She then hung up the phone and the next I heard of her she was in hospital, undergoing serious internal surgery.
What this illustrates is that, under the most extreme of circumstances, a person’s rational thinking and thought process can become so deeply disturbed that they can bring themselves to do things that a normal, balanced person could not even conceive of doing. To me, the mere thought of what a razorblade would feel like in my mouth – let alone the damage it would do and the unimaginable agony it would cause to take a gulp and force it down my throat – is so visceral and vile and uncomfortable that I feel physically ill just contemplating it.
For this person to completely bypass that cognitive process – to have had her mind so fundamentally warped and altered that not only were the implications of the act of no concern, but they were actually reasoned to be the best and only possible course of action – indicates that, while there may not be any justification for a seemingly unthinkable act, that does not mean there cannot be a reason for it.
Was Chris Benoit, similarly, in such a state of psychological decay that the most unthinkable act became the best course of action? I have dealt with people suffering from psychological collapse and some have committed acts that many people may consider worse than what Benoit did. Are these people evil, immoral or monstrous? Does an elderly woman suffering diminished mental faculty, who skins the family cat alive because she believes it to be a demon, now become a monster, or is her personal reality so unhinged that she is as much a victim as a villain? Certainly, morality is never so black and white an issue as we would like.
NEEDLE IN A HAYSTACK
While it may be easier not to address them, there were numerous issues at play in the life (and death) of Chris Benoit. Again, while none of these will ever provide satisfactory justification, they may at least help provide an explanation for what happened. Firstly, let’s look at the factor that the mainstream media has singled out in this horrendous affair: anabolic steroids. Or, to put a finer point on it, “roid rage”.
“Fox News would tell you that steroids turn you into The Incredible Hulk,” a recently departed WWE wrestler told me. “I guess they do help guys looking like Bruce Banner to look like Lou Ferrigno. Steroids mess with your hormones – they mess with testosterone, which can cause aggression. Do some of the boys get hot-headed? Yeah. Is it because they’re on the gas? That’s possible. But wrestlers have been on the gas for decades – aggression, I’ll give you that, but ‘roid rage’ that makes men kill women and babies? That’s BS.”
But The Medical Journal Of Australia paints a different picture. According to a paper by Brian Corrigan: “Side effects can occur with all anabolic steroids. The higher the dose the higher the risk is the general rule, and side effects can be sudden, severe and unpredictable… The most common group of side effects involve psychological and/or psychiatric changes. Being psychoactive substances, anabolic steroids are expected to produce some degree of psychological change after they have been taken for some time.
“Prolonged users become suspicious, quarrelsome, impulsive and more aggressive. Severe effects manifest when these aggressive feelings increase to the extent that violent, hostile, antisocial behaviour develops, meriting the descriptive title, well known in the steroid-taking community, of ‘roid rages’. These rages can result in property damage, self-injury, assaults, marriage break-ups, domestic violence, child abuse, suicide and attempted murder or murder. Partners of anabolic steroid users are at particular risk of serious injury, and there is even a self-help group, Anabolic Steroid Wives Association, to help provide them with support.”
Steroids were found in Benoit’s home, along with a large quantity of drugs. These had not been identified at press time, but it is inevitable that prescription painkillers were among them. According to Barry Norman, a former WCW publicist who worked with Benoit: “If you're a top wrestler, guaranteed – if you're not addicted, you're pretty close to [with] painkillers.” Painkiller abuse is rampant in wrestling, as Dr Barbara Krantz, medical director of a Floridian abuse clinic, added: “These people are often treated for opiate abuse, because they have taken opiates to ease intense pain caused by the attempt to wean off steroids.”
We’re looking at a man who has been using steroids and manipulating his hormone balance over a 20-year wrestling career. Factor in what is likely an acute abuse of prescription medication (bearing in mind that wrestlers’ steroid use is around a hundredfold their intended medical dosage) and you have a chemical cocktail that, regardless of any other issues, could be enough to sufficiently impair both emotion and thought. But Benoit’s issues didn’t end there.
SECOND IMPACT
“Gene Atkins, a ten-year NFL veteran, told me that he has been periodically suicidal and still languishes for days, unable to drag himself out of bed,” said The Boston Globe’s Jackie MacMullan last month. “‘I'm depressed all the time,’ Atkins said in a phone interview. ‘I don't even have the will to play with my kids. It's bad. I'm just not the same person I once was.’” Over a decade-long American football career, Atkins has suffered repeated brain trauma in the form of concussions – an epidemic in professional sports that is currently a gigantic issue in the NFL.
Defensive back Andre Waters – a kind, convivial family man – committed suicide last year at the age of 44 as a result of depression caused by the brain injury. The link was discovered thanks to research by former WWE star Chris Nowinski, whose own career (like Bret Hart’s before him) was ended by a severe concussion. Nowinski uncovered research linking concussions to long-term neurological disorders such as depression and Alzheimer’s disease. “There is plenty of evidence that concussions are connected to neurological problems later in life,” he stated in an interview about the current concussion crisis.
Indeed, in a survey by The University Of North Carolina, 20.2 per cent of 595 former NFL players who had sustained at least three concussions were found to be suffering from clinical depression. With many people questioning whether Mike Awesome’s suicide in February this year could be related to the brain trauma he must have received throughout his career (from excessive unprotected chairshots), the question needs to be asked whether Chris Benoit may also have been suffering from neurological issues.
Benoit worked an extremely hard, physical style, he bumped in hard rings and almost certainly worked through concussions. His very finishing move was the diving headbutt, he took such impact to his head and upper body that he broke his neck and, according to Nowinski, “He was one of the only guys who would take a chairshot to the back of the head, which is stupid.” Couple the depression, paranoia and suicidal tendencies caused by post-concussion syndrome with the exact same traits caused by prolonged steroid and medication abuse and, suddenly, Benoit’s frayed state of mind is a lot more understandable. And yet, his issues did not end there.
PRIVATE MAN, PRIVATE LIFE
By all accounts, Chris Benoit was a private, circumspect man. While many people considered him a friend, he did not let anyone close. “He was a very quiet man,” said Chris Jericho, “but not a recluse and not a hermit. Just quiet. He minded his own business but he was always around.” In fact, the only person that Benoit was ever truly close to and spoke intimately with was Eddie Guerrero – a man who was in every way a brother, a confidant and a rock, and who was taken away from him over a year-and-a-half ago.
We can only speculate whether Chris could have talked through whatever issues he had if Eddie had been around. While we’re at it, we may as well speculate that, until 13 November 2005, that’s exactly what he did, and that’s what kept him from going off the rails earlier. All we know for certain is that Benoit took Guerrero’s death incredibly hard; regardless of what counsel Eddie might have been to him, his passing alone sent him understandably into a deep depression – something that, as we have established, he could well have been suffering already…
For the rest of this feature, check out issue 17 of FSM – available at WH Smith and all good retailers. (For US readers we are now carried at Borders, so check for local availability or click here to subscribe.)
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