UFC The Ultimate Finale 16

While it may not feature in the 2012 FSM Reader Awards, one of the best books of the year was Paul Krugman's End This Depression Now, which argued against obsessing about inflation. After watching The Ultimate Finale, however, anyone in agreement with Krugman's principle would perhaps make one exception, because if you want to see evidence of destructive inflation, take a hard long look at modern pro wrestling.

On this shows prelims, Rustam Khabilov defeated Vinc Pichel in a way both familiar and utterly baffling to wrestling fans; thrice, Khabilov took Pichel's back, and belly-to-back suplexed his hapless adversary. It was the closest that real sports gets to Kurt Angle's rolling German suplexes.

But reality was much different to theatre; whereas Angle would use the suplexes as a transition move barely warranting a near-fall, here they offered some of the most dramatic scenes imaginable. Not only was the struggle for each throw much more vivid than when acted out by the most gifted pro wrestlers, but the impact on poor Pichel seemed more devastating than even when emoted by the most convincing seller. What has happened to pro wrestling when two men fighting against each other put on a better show than trained sports entertainers working together?

The answer goes back to Krugman. Pro wrestling is the victim of rampant inflation; suplexes are devastating in an actual fight, and as FSM's own "Stone Cold" Steve Austin can attest, they're no fun to take in the squared circle, either. But yet whereas no-one will quickly forget the brutal way Khabilov's climatic suplex saw Pichel dropped on his head and knocked out, in pro wrestling, similar moves are bloodlessly performed in the middle of the match.

Go back to the 1970s, and suplexes were routinely used as finishing moves, as were DDTs and piledrivers (which are illegal in MMA due to the danger of spinal damage). The wrestlers then could captivate fans with struggles for simple holds. The way that Pichel landed on his head for a third time has been burned in viewers' minds leads this author to believe that those veterans knew something very important that has sadly been forgotten.

Speaking of forgotten, that's quite unfairly what will soon happen to a fun card, which saw Roy Nelson easily dispatch Matt Matrione, and Pat Barry crush the über-tough Shane del Rosario. Colton Smith's defeat of Mike Ricci was somewhat unexpected, and also disappointing considering the latter's personality, but the Staff Sergeant for III Corps in Fort Hood, Texas worked hard for his ground control, and deserved the victory.

Results Tim Elliott def. Jared Papazian (Decision [unanimous] / R3 / 5:00) - Mike Rio def. John Cofer (Submission [armbar] / R3 / 4:11) - Hugo Viana def. Reuben Duran (Knockout [punch] / R1 / 4:05) - TJ Waldburger def. Nick Catone (Technical Submission [triangle choke] / R2 / 1:04) - Rustam Khabilov def. Vinc Pichel (Knockout [suplex] / R1 / 2:15) - Johnny Bedford def. Marcos Vinicius (Knockout [punches] / R2 / 1:00) - Mike Pyle def. James Head (TKO [knee and punches] / R1 / 1:55) - Dustin Poirier def. Jonathan Brookins (Submission [D'arce choke] / R1 / 4:15) - Pat Barry def. Shane del Rosario (Knockout [punches] / R2 / 0:26) - Colton Smith def. Mike Ricci (Decision [punches] / R3 / 5:00) - Roy Nelson def. Matt Mitrione (TKO [punches] / R1 / 2:58